i felt like i needed a new start:

www.xanga.com/xloveforyouisBLINDx

CW: 81 lbs

Havent updated in a while. Sorry. Life has been hectic. Im so paranoid. Im so lonely. I put up an act all day long. You would never guess that I was lonely, because I am one of the most outgoing people. but i dont know if anyone actually likes me, or if they just put up with me. i question how could they like me?

Anyways, yesterday was amazing. I had already had to go out ot eat with my family, I had to eat a waffle and strawberries, and i had 8 oz of hot chocolate and a banana, around a total of 650 calories, my limit, and i knew how to stop. my family ordered pizza at 9 o clock. i said i was tired and didnt feel good and i went to bed at 8:30, with coldplay music playing in the background. i resisted. it gave me such a high.

sleep. when pressure comes, just go to bed, under the covers, and sleep. people would have to be very rude to wake you up.

Intake:

B: 1 cup organic cereal-110 grapes-30

take care <3

Hey! Today I dont have school, Im glad, Im just going to lay around and sleep till i have a dance performance at 7.

CW:81 lbs

B: luna bar-180

L: banana-100

take care im going to go comment

Hey Loves.

CW: 81 lbs

I havent updated in a few days. Ive been in a great mood, I got a part in Annie, July(a speaking orphan, but there were 150 kids that auditioned and only 7 roles), things had been going well with friends, I got over that guy, but, now I realize that it cant lat and I need to get serious about my diet and updated every day.

off to comment <3

B: 1 cup organic cereal-100 grapes-25

::::::edit(6:40 pm):::::::::

so heres my total intake for the day. im proud of myself, yea, it wasnt the lowest calories, but it was really healthy and i  got 55 g of protein, and a lot of fiber from all the fruits and veggies.

B: 1 cup organic cereal-100 grapes-25

L: carrots-25 luna bar-180

S: grapes-25 6 tortita chips-40

D: 4 oz grilled chicken-120 baked potato-100 mixed veggies-20

TOTAL: 635 calories

Hey Lovers.

CW: 79.5 lbs

How are you? Sorry I didnt update yesterday, it was kind of crazy because I had call back and dance. I have to wait till Friday to find out if I get a prt. Its driving me nuts!

Ok, Ive had enough with people at school saying im so skinny. Its like, all people ever say. "Omg your so skinny!" "look how flat your stomach is!" than they make mean jokes, like, say im "so anorexic(bull crap, they dont know the first thing about an e.d.)" I am anorexic, but Im not the anorexic they think I am. Of course, I say "no im not anorexic i eat how many times do i have to say this!"  Because they dont understand the first thing about anroexia, know what i mean? This disease isnt just about bneing skinny. Its about controll, suceeding at something, being the best. I dont care if people say Im so skinny and tiny. I dont think Im perfect yet, so I have to keep going.

I feel sometimes I live to be skinny. but its my little secret, i dont like people acting like they know whats going on.

So, i didnt weigh myself for 4 days and when i did this morning i was 79.5 and so happy. Finally back down into the 70s. Just gotta stay down there.

Intake:

B: 1 cup organic cereal-100

L: 1 small chocolate muffin-140 mixed fruit-50

S: carrots w/ mustard-25, 2 triscuits-30

Outake:

90 minutes of P.E (-160)

off to comment <3